This still counts as a Monday post.

So, I’ve been reading a lot more anthologies since I’ve started University. I guess I have time for single stories and not for chapters of novels. I’ve also been taking my kobo to work, and I read it on breaks, and it’s much easier to read a story in half an hour than a chapter or a novel (unless it’s a bad novel, but a good novel should leave you wanting more and be impossible to put down).

I’m not really sure if I like them.

As I said before, they’re hella convenient. They’re also great ways to sample a new writer, and on that note, a great way for new writers to get noticed or for established writers to get a new audience. And that is fantastic. I personally like all the variations on themes anthologies present.

Therein lies another problem.

Some of the variations are things I don’t want to see.

For example, in one anthology that I will review next week, there were stories that felt a lot like crappy self-inserts- one particularly disturbing was about a 40 some year old man becoming infatuated with a 15 year old girl. Eww. Some are just…..were you on acid when you wrote this?!

The editors probably pick stories for a wide audience, including creepazoids. And I do like the variety. I just feel like I pay for (in an average anthology) 3 stand-out stories, 10 or so really good ones, 10 or so medicore, and then 5 that make me say WTF MAKE IT STOP WHY IS THIS HAPPENING OH SWEET CHRISTMAS WHY.

That’s my take on anthologies.

I am going to review a couple anthologies for my random crap blog this week, so stay tuned boys and girls.

And have a great Tuesday.

Love,

Kelsey J. 

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OMG OMG OMG.

I actually have something to talk about for my random crap blog.

And it’s THE AVENGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG OMG OMG

I have been waiting for The Avengers for a long time, like, since Iron Man came out. Probably since I realised there was such a thing as The Avengers. And I saw it on opening night.

It was, all and all, a good movie. There was lots of humour, and everyone was in character. You got to see Black Widow speak Russian (no accent again, though, like Iron Man 2. L), and got to see the team fight as one. Somehow, I didn’t think this was possible, but Loki got sexier. I was quite disappointed that I didn’t bring my patented drool bucket. The action/fight scenes were top notch. However…..

SPOILER ALERT FROM THIS POINT ON.

I don’t want to be one of those fans that complain about everything, but there were things I didn’t like. I don’t want to say a lot, but there were some definite things I didn’t like. And yes, spoilers. I didn’t like how the movie seemed to focus a lot on Iron Man. I like Iron Man, ish, starting to like him more after certain events *coughcivilwarcough* but I didn’t want to see him. I wanted to see Thor, and Hulk, and Cap. And Spiderman. I was so hoping for a cameo from him. But alas, disappointed. I don’t get why they can’t do that, it’s probably some bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo. I didn’t like the lack of accents on Black Widow, and I didn’t like that the Hulk grunted a lot. And there were a couple scenes where I was like, Did I accidently buy tickets to Atlantis, the Lost Empire?

I hate to admit I forgot where the alien villains were from. And apparently, Prune Face is their boss. (Guess who that is, folks).

But, I LOVED the characterization of everyone. It was, like, spot on. Black Widow was a great, well-rounded female who was strong and tough. I loved the fight scenes, as said above. There was one scene where everyone was arguing that was amazing. I loved how it was all put together. I love Loki (marry me Tom Hiddleston!) and Hulk and…(shuttering Nerdgasm).

The actor playing Bruce Banner also kind of reminded me of Hank from Corner Gas. At first I thought he wouldn’t be as good as Edward Norton’s performance, but I felt he did pull off a more well-rounded performance.

There was so much bromance. So. Much. Bromance.

There is a death, and I didn’t cry. I am so proud of me.

Just and fyi, the after the after the big credits scene is funny, but has no hints at next movies. Watch it anyway.

I’d like to thank Kyle and Afreen for going to see the movie with me.

GO SEE THE MOVIE! Marvel Studios has another good movie on their hands. Non-dorks will like it as well.

That’s my spiel for this Wednesday. J

Kelsey J. 

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So, in addition to all of my little projects going on right now, I have a new challenge to meet. 

I want to write my mom a happy story or poem for mother's day, because she has asked 1)why I don't write happy pieces and 2) if I could write one for her. So, challenge accepted. 

The only problem is,what to write about. 

I used to think I could not write anything happy. Mostly because, in high school, I didn't have much inspiration for happy pieces.  I barely had inspiration to have a happy mood. Now that I'm out of high school I have been writing a lot more humour (specifically humorous fan-fictions) and happier poems in general. So, I know that I can do it. Question is, what do I write about? I have no idea what to write about for mother's day for my mom. And I want it to be good, not sappy. 

So that's what I'm writing now. I'm getting closer to having time to record my Bad Writing Theater pieces, and do my found poems and novel. Of course, I will keep you posted. 

Love, 
Kelsey J. 

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It seems like every time I want to watch TV I have to choose from crappy reality TV shows and crappier reality TV shows. I miss crime shows. I miss when MTV actually played music videos. I miss when it wasn't Pawn Stars non-stop and storage this and .....well, pretty much everything on TLC and MTV.

And people wonder why online TV is so popular, and Netflix. No one wants to sort through all 20 bajillion channels playing crappy reality TV to find something worth watching.

Also, I am convinced that TV channels are in cahoots so that you can’t jump between shows in the commercials.

Man, that was boring.

Sorry guys, I haven’t been doing much that is exciting. 

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Oh. My. Gosh.

So, I had my first ever adult public reading ever. And I got paid $50. I didn’t go in to the reading expecting to get paid, so it was a welcome surprise when I got an envelope with money at the end.

The reading was held by the Vertigo Reading series in my home town. It was held in a lovely restaurant called Crave kitchen and Wine bar. I was one of 3 readers and one musician. The other readers were Norm Sacuta (http://www.normsacuta.com/), Annette Bower (http://annettembower.wordpress.com/) and Alexis Kienlen (http://www.alexiskienlen.com/), and the musician was Colby Nargang (http://colbynargang.com/). Mr. Sacuta and Ms. Bower have novels coming out that you can read about on their websites, Ms. Kienlen has 2 poetry chapbooks out, and Mr. Nargang has his debut album out right now. They were all amazing readers.

I read 4 poems: “Johnny”, “Nero”, “Life went on without You”, and “You, me and a shotgun”. I’ll post “Life went on without You” in my pieces page, as I won’t be attempting to get it published as I will with the other poems. Truth be told, I’m not sure if these were the best to read, but I didn’t want to deal with the copyright on my published work. I think I’d feel the same no matter what, honestly. Meh, I got paid. J

That’s not even the best part.

The dry spell is officially over, folks. I have been chosen for publication in ANUBIS magazine (see link at end). This fledgling magazine is a place for writers under 19 to showcase their work in the genre of speculative fiction (horror, sci-fi, fantasy). Their first issue is being formatted as we speak, and I am their featured story. My name is on the cover of the magazine, and my story is the first one in the magazine. Wow. I’m so grateful and so excited. The story is called “Dawn of the Undead”, and is about how the other “undead” get by after a zombie apocalypse. I’m not getting paid, but this is still a great opportunity. I also recommend visiting ANUBIS’s facebook page- they have lots of good advice on writing.

I guess keeping my head up paid off in the end.

And I have even more news.

Two months from now (June) will be another theme month. The theme- fan fiction. I need some time to organize my guest posters, but I think it will be a blast.

I have been accepted into a creative writing class at my school for next fall. It is competitive entry, and so I am really pumped to be in it.

Also, I have the pieces lined up for the first edition of Bad Writing Theater. Just need to record them and play with them and then post them. Then, to organize the other writers who will be appearing. Other people, geez. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them. :p

And that, my friends, is a basic update on my writing stuffs.

Love, Kelsey J. 

ANUBIS magazine: http://www.anubismagazine.com/ 
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SHE'S BACK!!!! 04/25/2012
 
I’M BACK! I missed you all so much *grabs, hugs, squeezes life out of audience*

My exams are FINALLY over and the exams went well, which means my parents won’t murder me and I can get back to regularly posting on here.

So since today is my random crap blog, I’m not gonna tell y’all about how my writing has been going. What I will tell you is that I have made the decision to begin vlogging. I’m going to start doing bi-monthly posts on every other Wednesday, and alternate between fashion and writing, and if that gets semi-popular I’ll start doing a random crap blog and maybe do 3 weeks out of the month, starting on the 2nd of May.  Fingers crossed everyone!

In other random crap news, I have just gotten a tumblr. It’s http://missshallott.tumblr.com/, and the page title is Blood Read Romance (I know, so clever). I post random crap on there (hence, mentioned here) like screenshots and random stories and such. It is now my go-to place when bored. Sorry Cracked.

My life is pretty average, so I don’t have much to post today. Sorry everyone, studying just ate all of my time. L

I have lots of writing announcements though, and on Monday I will have a giant post for you all about my writing escapades since last we spoke.

Love, Kelsey J. 

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Announcement 03/28/2012
 
Hey y'all: Just want you all to know that I won't be updating every week for the month of April. Exams are like brain eating zombies. Important zombies. 
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*DISCLAIMER*
The following post is meant to be an exercise in sarcastic venting. I do not condone violence against anyone, no matter how much they annoy you. Nor do I condone the use of valuable money being spent to launch hipsters into space. It's a waste of money. 

Dear Hipsters, 

Consider this your last warning. I have had enough of your bull-crap, and if you do not cease and desist being obnoxious I will launch you into space in a very mainstream rocket. The destination of this rocket is Uranus, and "In Da Club" by 50 Cent will be played the entire way there. 

I am commanding you to stop doing the following, or face a rocket to Uranus:
1) Making music. Just, stop.
2) Growing facial hair. Yes, this includes the lady hipsters too. 
3) Wearing glasses with no lenses to look cool when you have perfect vision. 
4) Complaining about things while making no effort to do better or change thing.
5) Informing me that my likes are too mainstream/wrong/yours are better. 

Here is the thing, my dear hipsters; just because something is popular does not automatically make it awful. Last time I checked, Mac was pretty popular. Same with Starbucks. So, just because {insert band/genre/movie/book/hair style/shaving} is popular, does not mean it is awful. 


I will now address each number, outlining exactly what I want you to do. 

1) I don't care how much money your parents spent on your vintage guitar and lessons: They would be offended that you were using it to play such awful music. Burn it. And the piano. And the banjo. And whatever non-mainstream instrument you play. If this request is not followed, I will make an entire album of me playing the clarinet and my dog howling along. And then you will all listen to it, because "{insert people you are trying to impress} won't have heard of it."

2) I should change this: growing badly maintained facial hair. It's gross. It doesn't show how hip you are and how you don't care about societies pressures: it shows that you don't understand the concept of hygiene. If this request is not followed, I will pull out your beard. Using a truck. 

3) I wish my glasses were fake. So do all of my friends with glasses. However, we can't see very well without them. They are not a fashion statement. GLASSES ARE A MEDICAL TOOL. If this is not followed, I will make you watch a strobe light show until you need glasses. 

4) Ghandi once said to be the change you want to see in the world. But I guess he's too mainstream for you. 
You don't like society, it's music, it's pressures and social codes? That's fine. But don't sit around whining. Do something to change it. Like making a blog about it, or a vlog, or trying to raise awareness for the issues you see with the world around you. Growing an ironic beard and buying a t-shirt with an "ironic" slogan on it does not count. 

I won't do anything about this one: Life will punish you for me. 

5) If you're going to shove your music down my throat, don't be angry when I don't like it. We all like different stuff. It's the fun of being a person. And people are often personally attached to stuff they like. So when you say that the song that got me through a lot of tough times sucks and {insert banjo-band here} is better, it's actually really hurtful. Saying the stuff you grew up with is better hurts too. That stuff was my childhood, and it makes me smile thinking about it. No, I don't get the band's "artisitc genuis". No, I don't see why old stuff is always better than new. Let me have my tastes.  You shouldn't play crappy music, because that's just wrong no matter what genre you play in or how popular it is (*coughbiebercough*). But you have the right to listen to it. What I think is crappy is different from what you think is crappy, and that's fine. What you shouldn't have to do is constantly defend it from people who think it sucks because they have an inflated opinion of themselves or they have a deflated opinion of themselves and are trying to bring themselves up by putting you down. 

I'm not punishing you for this either. The fact that you have become the people you hated in elementary school and high school should be punishment enough for you. 





Guys, I hope you realise when I was being sarcastic and when I was being honest here. I think anyone playing music is great, and we all start out crappy, don't we? So, I'm just trying to raise some points and make you laugh. Hipsters, if you can't laugh at yourselves don't bother commenting. 

Sorry about the day late! I was....doing....homework. Yes, that. 


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I hate self promotion.

Don't get me wrong, I love the idea that all of you get to meet me without me getting off my couch. I don't love having to endorse myself. 

I have little self-esteem, so if I were to write my description/bio as I see me, it would look something like this: 
"Fat, stupid bitch who does nothing and thinks she can write. Also, she's obsessed with Hugh Jackman and puppies."

I hope that's not accurate. The last part, I can live with though. :P

I heard once, and I say it a lot, that writers have to be their own worst critic and biggest fan at the same time. This is why a lot of writers are either a) insane, or b) going to be insane in the very near future. It's freaking hard to be two things at once, especially when they are the opposite of each other. 

I learned a lot at the When Words Collide conference in the summer about self-promotion. Hence, this blog which I actually try on and my twitter account. I'm even considering a LiveJournal.  I'm still unsatisfied, because sometimes I feel like this is all for naught. 

I once heard that anything worth having is worth working for, and worth waiting for. So, I keep this in mind when I self-promote. It's worth having, so it's worth busting my buns for. I think most writers should too, even when it gets hard. 

Get twitter, get a facebook page, get a website. Pretend like there's someone listening. One day people will be. People who aren't your friends or your mom. 

That's just my day-late spiel. 
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One little thing 03/14/2012
 
Today's non-writing blog starts out a little girly. Bare with me. 

I was making a smoothie (which I do almost everyday, I love smoothies) and I saw my sister's lulu lemon bag in the closet when I was going to get a bag to crush ice in. They have little motivational sayings on them. One said, do one thing a day that scares you. 

I call bull. 

I know lulu means well, but there are reasons certain things scare you. For example, there is no way I'm watching videos of spiders, or coming to class in a halloween costume. I could go all morbid, but I digress. 

I think I have a better suggestion: do one thing a day that makes you happy. 

Unless you like killing things. Then find something else. 

I have noticed that when I paint my nails, I get way more confident. Or wearing my favourite shoes. Or having one chocolate bar. Things like these should be what you try to do every day, not scaring yourself. 
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